Ugh, right? There’s always someone on your gifting list who you’d rather kick into a volcano than have to deal with, but stupid societal niceties require you to smile and give them a token of thanks this year.
Whether they’re holding your livelihood hostage, are the in-law you were always afraid of, or seem to have a sense of self-righteousness about how you parent your child (or pet…looking at you, former doggy daycare bitchy dude), I’ve got you covered with a few gift ideas for people you hate that are minimal effort, but aren’t passive-aggressive enough to start a war.
PS – If you’re looking for actual gifts, check out my collection of Gift Guides.
Gift Ideas for People You Hate:
Gifts for Crappy Bosses
- World’s Okayest Boss Mug – For when a joke is supposed to not be a joke.
- What If? Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions Book – See, I actually love this book. I have this book. It’s absolutely perfect for making someone feel full of despair and anxiety.
- HBIC Mug – If you get along with your boss, they’ll probably appreciate the message (HBIC = Head Bitch In Charge)
Gifts for Snarky Administrators
- Paper Tantum Notes – “ha ha, just kidding!” but not really.
- Lump of Coal in a Gift Box – I love the presentation the most.
- Prank Candle – Just make sure they aren’t burning it near your workspace.
- definitely not vodka Mug – or its popular cousin: definitely not whiskey mug
Gifts for People Who Hold Some Power in Your Life
- Donation to the Human Fund – A Seinfeld classic and may actually have the ability to get a laugh from their stupid jerk faces.
- Subscription to the New Yorker – This is one of my favorite gifts because it seems lovely, but really, you’re just stressing them out with the feeling of more things to read and do.
Gifts for Overbearing Parents and In-Laws
- Plants – Yes, you can buy plants on Amazon (I’ve actually had great luck with it!). Send them something alive that they can focus their attention on instead of you.
- Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair – Snarky? Yes. Worth it? Always.
- Bamboo Cooking Utensils Set – Looks fancy, isn’t expensive and didn’t take you much time or effort.
Gifts for Coworkers So You Aren’t Ostracized from Work Events
- Amazon Gift Card – give them the printout and call it a day. Let them figure out what the hell they want.
- Toothpaste Squeezer – because their breath is RIPE and meetings cannot possibly get any worse.
- Magnetic Bottle Opener – minimal effort, done.